


Deadpool Reads Uni!John

by Holdt



Category: Deadpool (2016), Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Bottom Wade Wilson, Dom Tony Stark, Dom/sub, Dominant Tony Stark, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sub Wade Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:32:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10098614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holdt/pseuds/Holdt
Summary: Like it says on the tin





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spacewolfcub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewolfcub/gifts), [Telesilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fight the Power](https://archiveofourown.org/works/328252) by [Telesilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla). 



“Let’s see…where was I…oooh right - the tattoo!”

The squeal of excitement bounced off the walls of the grimy hotel room as the steady light of the crisp clean Starkpad, perched precariously on it’s bed of origami takeout containers and taco sauce packets, lit up the silk-draped mattress.

"Tsk Tsk _Tsk_. **Bates is  a stupid bastard.** **Pushy, too.** Who wouldn't want to go to John? I'd be under that like a mechanic on a dolly. _Speaaking of dollys-_ "

He sat a small plushy Ironman doll beside the Starkpad, with a gleeful, " _Now you can WATCH me!_ "

Deft fingers scrolled and tapped.

"Mmmhmm..mm...ugh...ewww... _OOOH!_ Ugh, a civilian, seriously? So what, bottoming is _gay,_   all of a sudden?"

" _ **You tell him, Telesilla!**_ "

Wade cringed for a second on the bed, eyes darting above his head for a moment as he listened. " **Don't get your squee on the author, jeez man! Come on! I'm tryin to get my _fuck_ on here! Fangirl _later_ , and maybe we'll get our _nails_ done and wash our scalp with that _coconutty_ shit at Chez Stark.** "

_We can do our toesies in the jacuzzi! If we're good._

" **Oh, we'll be good. We'll be very, _VERY_ good!** "

Bright hazel eyes gazed as a cheery tenor mumble continued.

“John, _John_ , _Johhhhn_. _Oh John_. **Johnnieboy**. You are a _hungry_ little cock-gobbling _bicycle_ and Daddy Wade is gonna get _every_ \- **_ugh_** - _inch_ - **fuck** -”

An impatient whine drifted up from the lithely muscled form lounging back on the silk. A scarred hand reached down and tugged half-heartedly at a gleaming metal cock-cage, the only thing on his sensitive bare flesh.

He came here sometimes, this place where no one would ever dare walk in on him; this place where he could…uncover it all, show his balls and kick up his legs a little - why not? Everything was permissible, as long as he didn’t come.

Which might be a problem, because that John Sheppard…

“ _Oooh, he’s such a slut!_ **_So much tasty nut-jamming angst!_** Soooo much penetration and _manpain_! _**And penetrating manpain!**_ Mmm….”

“ **He likes it cause John’s even more fucked than our own life.** ”

“That’s not _true_ \- I like it cause Vulcan's are _fucking hot_ , and he uses …. _a P90!_ _You know the type of trouble you can get into with a P90?_ ”

The man’s voice kept shifting registers, from a husky grumble to a dementedly cheerful high giggle.

_Our name is Wade, asshole. ‘The man’. I can write better epithets in my sleep, you poseur._

_ “You spelled ‘poser’ with a ‘u’, diiiidn’t you? Daaaaated!” _

_Get back to the gun, I’m runnin’ out of spit here!_

“Shit, _shit_ , pon farr is _soooo unconventionally dubcon_! Oh, oh _OH! _ Ohhhhh the places you can go, with a big P- **nine** - _ **Oh!**_ ”

His hand worked his trapped flesh steadily, little whimpers and gasps of pain rising as he put his arm into it." _I_ could tell you, but you'd _never believe_ where you can hide one!"

_Oh I'd believe it. I believe it so hard-_

One of the most surprising things Wade had learned in life was this: Torture was boring. Intensely, nut-crushingly, soul-splinchingly, achey-breaky boring.

_Not achey-breaky in the good way, either. I don’t like this._

Insert random asshole into random asshole. Put this in there, stick that, burn this. Boring _boring **BORING**_.

“ _Annnd seriously hard to get off to, too, thanks for asking!_ ”

They didn't even let him tell them his safe word.

 _Rude._ “ **Hey - cut that SHIT out**!”

“Nutless Francis and his bullshit Weapon Plus program.”

Bullshit-boring and dumb too.

_You’re dumb._

_“Ha!_ ”

Fucking boring-ass dumpstain-dumb Francis. Well, crispy, boring, _dead_ and dumb now, but still. Facts were….wiggling snakey unclear things, that seemed to constantly be in motion, **BUT!**

“ _Ooh, NOW you’re talkin’! Yeah, butts!_ ”

-but Wade was sure. He fucking hated being choked. Tony understood - he was patient that way.

“ **Pretty sure…** ”

**_Im pretty sure Wade’s dick is bored, so come. The fuck! ON! You’re KILLIN me here!_ **

“Boring. **BORING**. **_BOOO! _** Fuck that guy, John - _SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE, and bang **circles** around  Roddddney like Margot on a **motherfucking** bender_!”

_**"We don't love them Lorien ho's! OOOOH!** "_

Ooooh, that Rodney!

_He’s like a slightly dumpier, but equally broad-shouldered, strong thighed, super duper smart-sexy Tony that went to another **galaxy** and never **had a suit** and-!_

**“Ohhhkaaaaaay...Not quite Tony, but good. ENOUGH.”**

It was kind of sad how Rodney never had a nice scratchy beard for Wade to imagine rubbing off on after he’d begged himself hoarse, but oooh. _Still._

“ _Guess who doOOOES? This angsty gun-totin motherfuckin Shep, that’s who!_ ”

_“This is FUN!”_

Wade preferred Tony’s idea of fun.

_So creative!_

“ _Tony is gonna be..uh..so..so…so fucking happy with us!”_ He giggled to himself, delighted with the precum slicking up the warming metal. Tony loved to see him all swollen and tender, loved to watch him squirm and dance with that Stark logo on his beefy squeeze.

“Mmmm…beefy.”

_We should eat._

Had he eaten? “ _Tony promised!”_ he gasped, arching slightly at the thought. Tony was gonna feed him, just like he liked, by hand if he played his cards right.

“So…close…”

“ **WE NEED MORE**.” Wade needed to dance.

Tony would make him dance, for damn sure, when he saw _this_ hotdog show.

Kind of like how his perfect ass was squirming and dancing on that hastily draped silk right now.

_“Oh! Oh you’re sooo sweeet! It IS perfect, isn’t it? I made it all by myself!”_

_I wonder how tight that new cup is gonna feel, Wade._

**“Don’t ask him** ” he gasped out. " **Wade's a fucking liar, the little shit.** "

" ** _I get the answers wrong on PURPOSE! OhhhhHAVANA!Yeah, grab him and throw him in there- nnngh-_** "

Quick little high-pitched whimpers were escaping the harder he got. This fic addiction was too much - he really needed to get a handle on it. Like John was getting a handle on that slick grip on-

“Oh handle it, _han_ dle it - _shoot him_ , _**SHOOT THAT FUCKER, GAH**_!”

…oops.

“Ah shit.”

Tony was NOT going to be happy.

Another ruined Starkpad.

Another night on the fucking machine.

Say what you wanted; J.A.R.V.I.S. could hold a grudge like a motherfucker.

"That mother _fucker_."

And Tony always stayed so far away.

Deadpool stared down at his dick and thought about brown eyes cold with disappointment.

“Look what you got me into now.”

_You were asking for it. Sorry - not sorry!_

It was true. Wade was always asking for it. It Made Things Easier when you just told the Dom what you wanted. He sighed as he pulled on skin-tight latex and unyielding leather, wincing as the new cup Tony had sent via carrier settled into his pubic bone, _hard_.

_Oh._

**Oh.**

"Well well well, things are looking up."

_And I mean way WAY up._

He whispered to himself as he pulled on his mask.

" **And when I say looking up, I mean erect, and by erect, I mean my penis!** "

" ** _Penis. Why would you say penis? Fucking jackass. Tony is watching us._** "

He picked up his plushie and stuffed it into his duffel-bag.

" _Tony's not the only one._ "

Hoisting his bag, he skipped to the door and unlocked it with a flourish as he pretended to swing the long lush hair he most definitely did not have.

He paused and looked back into the darkened room at the Starkpad sparking listlessly and cocked a hip as the device began to smoke.

_Another hotel fire, another flogging, oh well._

" ** _Another Job well done!_** " he crowed.

" _Hand_ **job** , _hand_ **job** , **_UNGH!_** Imma _mothafuckin’_ **_NIN_ JA** \- **YE-YAAH**! **Ungh, _get DOWN_**! _Yeah_!" He felt obligated to do The Dance. Tony would have understood.

It was important to remember the rules.

_So We can break them._

" _You know you **liked** it!_ " he hissed to the empty room, before gingerly limping into the hallway.

 _Ow_. **OW**.

He picked at the offending armor, but made no move to wiggle it out, as the elevator opened and he stepped inside.

Tony wasn't kidding when he'd said Wade was on lock-down.

" _Maybe we should have wiped the jizz off the cage?_ "

" **Well really, how am I ever supposed to get punished if I clean up my own messes?** "

That was just silly.

He shrugged to himself and whistled cheerfully as the other person in the elevator edged slightly away from his blood and smoke smeared uniform.

_Was it the jizz?_

“ _It was the **jizz,** wasn’t it?_”

The person leaned as far into the other side of the elevator as it was possible to go without becoming one with the wall.

 _Hm._ "Weird."

“ _Taco-bros? Hang with the Big D?_ _**It could be innnnnteresting!**_ ” he cajoled.

Well. Some people just weren’t very friendly.

New Yorkers.

_Fair enough._

 

_~Fin_

_~~for now_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I...I have no reasonable excuse.  
> (Sorry. Sorry; not sorry!)
> 
> (except for my rough edits)


End file.
